"The path is the goal."
It was autumn, 1997.
For most of my life, I have hated failure. Growing up, I worked hard to get an "A" on my school assignments, practiced diligently on the piano to the point where mistakes were nonexistent, and chastised myself every time I screwed up a shot while playing my main high school sport, tennis. The result of all this was that I performed well in all of these things. Yet only up to a point. When I reached university, things changed - my marks plummeted, I had given up on piano, and after failing to get onto the varsity tennis team, I gave up on tennis too. I knew that something in my approach was wrong, I just did not know what it was.
The definition of sham winning is to avoid losing - and yet this is how most people tackle their goals. Whether it be their job, the stock market, or just a board game, most people ultimately play not to lose rather than to win. In fact, many people are so afraid to lose at something that they do lose. This is what happened to me during that fencing bout. When I was ahead 10-3, I suddenly realized that I could actually win, and with this realization I became gripped by a force founded in fear, a force that told me not to screw up my lead in points. So I froze up - I started fencing not to lose, whereas up until that moment I had been fencing towards a different goal, the goal of simply fencing as well as I could. When I realized I could win, I became so worried about "not losing" that it became inevitable.
References
Proudly powered by Weebly